(Due to customs limitations, this is only available to Canadian readers.)
Fill out the form below and Rajiv will personally send you his innovative data delivery system and, upon consumption, your information will be transmitted to the scientists at Rabbit Mountain where your dome-worthiness will be assessed on a level that far exceeds the personality quiz you participated in HERE.
context excerpt from When the Trees All Burned
Stanford University
“It’s incredibly sophisticated, Lou.” The scientist wore a white lab coat and stared at the camera as if he’d never seen one before. “Technology like this exists in science fiction, but I’ve never seen it in the real world.”
“Can you explain how it works?” the reporter asked.
The scientist held up the package with the lion insignia. “They all appear the same,” he said. “Every one we’ve examined is comprised of the same ingredients. And Rajiv Montgomery Noah was telling the truth. It is safe for consumption.” He tore the package open and added it to a glass of water. “As you can see, it seems like nothing more than a child’s drink, but upon further investigation we’ve learned what it really contains.” He stepped to a thin tank that showed a cross-section of a man’s torso. “In this simulation, we see what happens when someone drinks Rajiv’s Kool-Aid.” He poured the cup into the top and the simulated esophagus responded with human-like actions as it forced the liquid down to the stomach. “Here we see the drink connect with the stomach acid and begin the digestion process.”
“So it’s just a drink?” the reporter asked.
“No,” the scientist said, shaking his head as he picked up a small wand from a desk off camera. “Watch.” He waved the wand in front of the simulation and it beeped with each pass of the stomach area.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that something in the drink is transmitting a signal. Watch.” He clicked a remote and a screen beside the tank lit up with an animation. He used his finger to trace the path of the drink being consumed. “We think the transmitter is activated when it senses the acid in the stomach. It is triggered to burrow into the stomach lining to avoid being digested and then it transmits its signal. We’ve never seen this technology at such a small scale before. It’s truly remarkable.”
“And what is it transmitting?”
“Well, if we are to trust the claims of Rajiv Montgomery Noah, it’s transmitting all known information about the patient so he can determine if they’re worthy enough for his ‘ark.’” Sarcasm dripped from the explanation.
“You’re not a follower?”
“I am a scientist,” he said, scoffing. “I believe in proven facts.”
“So you have not consumed the drink yourself?”
“I have not.”
“And how did you come to be in possession of multiple samplings of Rajiv’s ‘drink?’”
“My fellow scientists and I requested them in the same way every one else who has received them has requested them. We feign our interest in his selection as a means to possess the samples.”
“Do you not think a man who has been so forthcoming about his intentions would not offer it up to you freely that you might assure the public of its safety?”
“I’m sure he would, but we get a truer look at something when the deliverer does not know the requester has intentions beyond the intended use. Had I asked for the purpose of testing, he might have sent me something different than what he sends the masses. Do you see?”
“I do,” the reporter said, annoyed by the condescension in the scientist’s tone. “And will you consume this yourself now that you know it contains nothing harmful?”
“I will not. I am a scientist. I believe in evolution. Survival of the fittest. What awaits humanity can’t be contained by a man with a dome. I will either survive or I will not and that has nothing to do with a drink powder or an algorithm.”