3. No Thanks, Donald Trump
Podcast Transcript:
“Rajiv Montgomery Noah was an eccentric billionaire a failed politician with wild white hair encasing his head like a madman. He escaped to the northern mountains when his political career became burdensome and perilous. Tail between his legs, henchmen and his side, money held in various vaults across the globe that he slowly began to bleed dry as he built his kingdom. The world upheld this story with a reverent hilarity, following his antics because it made for good television, shaming him in a roundabout way reserved for royalty.”
I am Alanna and this is Racing Home, the podcast where I unpack the journey of writing the first book in a series about the end of the world. Welcome.
I was listening to a podcast with Inger Kenobi, a UK life coach and creative genius and she was talking about being a burden and encouraging others - encouraging me - to be a burden. And what that means is to be okay with taking up space; to ask for for what you need; to take what you need and to do it without apology. So, inspired by that challenge, I am facing that head on. I am being a burden. I am taking up space by making myself a priority.
Now I've always thought I had a pretty good balance until I really start to unpack where my time is going what I'm doing: what I'm focusing on, where my energy is going, and what makes me happy. I love my job. I love the work that I'm doing in supporting other creatives, other authors. It's really rewarding work, but I am also a creative and I am also an author so with Inger's help I am allowing myself to become a burden in my own day-to-day life by being the first thing on my agenda every day.
So what I've been doing is I've been coming out to the Chicken House in the morning as per usual. I bring my coffee. Often I would sit down and read for a little bit or like do a little study do some journaling. Now, the first thing that I'm doing is I'm sitting down, I'm opening my laptop, and I am writing at least my daily word count goal before I allow myself to do any other work. I'm not allowed to check emails, I'm not allowed to log onto social media. I have to write first and this is how I am being a burden and this is how I am making change in my progress
So today is Thursday October 19th when I'm recording this. I began this process on Monday so this is day four of being a burden and I am very happy to report that I have showed up for myself every single day. Last time we talked my word count was 52,433 I am so happy to let you know that today I'm sitting at 54,149 and like 1700 words isn't groundbreaking but progress is progress and going from zero like I started this project of keeping myself accountable to you this is the third week of that. And if I had come on here with nothing to show? Seriously, I might as well just toss in the towel. So here's to being a burden. Here's to getting stuff done. Here's to being a priority rather than an afterthought. If I can continue on this path I will reach my goal which is 70,000 words by the end of this year, and because of the progress that I made this week, right now, in order to reach that goal, I only have to write 2717 words a day. And every day that I write more than that that daily goal reduces. But what I am finding is of course I'm only 4 days in and it is hard to start a new habit but I'm already finding myself dwelling on certain plot points that I have started to work out in these four days and that little 1700 bit that I've been able to produce I've spent most of my writing time these 4 days getting to know a character that I hadn't really developed yet. I knew who she was. I knew a little bit about her. I had a picture of her in my mind. I knew a lot more about her partner than I knew about her. So it's been really fun to get to know Maxine. She owns a little flower shop in New York City. She's just lovable and I'm really enjoying unpacking who she is. She is an emotional character, so I found myself kind of wrapped up in my feelings.
You may or may not know that I develop a soundtrack for every project that I work on. If you were to pick up The Church in the Wildwood book or Blackbird, flip to the back. There's a soundtrack listed there which are songs that kind of capture the tone, the mood, the way I want you the reader to feel when you're enveloped in the story. So I am developing the same thing for The Path That Takes Us Home - for the whole series.
After my writing this morning I was actually working on a cover design for one of my authors and I put my soundtrack on.I have a little Bluetooth suitcase record player. So I put my soundtrack on and there are some newer songs that I've added to it and just they're rather devastating just really heavy and moving and gorgeous but it made me really sad…so I think I'm writing a sad book. There's going to be not sad things, obviously. I mean I showed you a bit about a comedian last week - but yeah - it's interesting. The soundtrack project is something I really like and it really helps speak to my own creativity and it helps balance out some of that some of that tone and it's a way for me to communicate really rich emotions to my readers without a lot of words. I can just send them a Spotify link and say just sit in this for a while and tell me tell me what you think. I try and pick really eclectic, non-mainstream songs; except, I will say, Belinda Carlile's “Heaven is a Place on Earth” is really the theme song of this whole thing. So that's a little hint for you.
So last week I shared that I had discovered that I actually started writing this book November 2016 and as I've been reflecting on that I'm trying to let it go, like it's not a big deal that it was started so long ago and it's been such—you know—fits and starts. That's okay because no matter how long something takes there is there is an end. I see the end. I'm excited about it. And speaking of the end, just as a side note, I was in the art gallery yesterday meeting with the gallery director—we're trying to do to find different ways we can collaborate on things. I'm hosting a 12-hour intensive there in November which is really exciting. She's just becoming a really great partner. So I mentioned just kind of flippant that I have this vision of doing my book launch in the gallery and she was super on board. She was like yep, as soon as you have a date let's lock it in. Which is so exciting to have community people, community members, other members of the arts community really on board to help. So I mean, if nothing else changes, I'm going to do a book launch in an art gallery — so just wanted to share that.
In that little opening excerpt that I shared right at the top of this podcast I introduced you to the character of Rajiv Montgomery Noah now
Rajiv was not always Rie he was called
Xavier I know this part was written
during Nimo
2016 and I know that he was originally
inspired by Donald Trump who was elected
president on November 8th
2016 and I remember being so ripped
apart by that
election and I don't I don't want to
take a political stand I don't want any
of this to be um political but
when something affects you deeply that's
happening in the world it's hard not to
allow that into your writing so I
actually went back on my old blog to see
what I had shared about the election and
oh I had some
feelings I'm just I'm just going to read
this to you so you can have a little
sense of where I was emotionally in the
midst of the nanoo oh
craziness during the early preon hours
of November 9th while Darkness pretended
to wrap this side of the world in a
lullabi dreams rocked me until I was
standing in a field it was that Magic
hour when evening light shoots across
the wheat in such a way it turns to gold
and as I walk through it I saw a woman
standing in the distance alone arms
resting at her side fingers brushing the
tips of the wheat a heaviness rooted in
my stomach at the sight of her at the
sadness in her face and the loneliness
in her posture I knew if I could extend
one bit of Grace to her I would find a
way to do it I approached and as I drew
near I realized it was Hillary Clinton
she watched me come shaking her head
slightly as if to say I'm strong leave
me be but I ignored her and continued
until I could gaze directly into her wet
eyes I wrapped my arms around her and it
felt for a moment like I was hugging the
world and then my mother appeared beside
us and said in her gentle way it's all
going to be all right I woke then
shaking and grabbed my phone from the
dresser beside me for flipping to
Twitter where of course I learned the
news with immediacy I couldn't sleep
after that and when Dawn finally broke
and I met the children in the kitchen I
asked them do you know they all did
we've been talking about it a lot I feel
sick I said why I just don't know but I
do know I know that I'm terrified by
what this means for the whole world what
does it say that one of the major world
powers allows an arrogant bully Blowfish
to be its leader what does it mean
I cried on the way to work I was
listening to interviews on the CBC and
I'd watched a video about a mob burning
the American flag before I left and I
was just shattered my heart broke for
America and my heart broke for us and as
I crusted the hill into Allen Park a
rainbow appeared to my right and that
made me cry even harder I was a wreck I
drove an extra loop around town to
gather myself then of course the day
continued in such a way an hourly
succession of more bad things I got some
difficult hard news that rocked me I
learned about the personal tragedy of a
close friend the marriage of another
friend is dissolving our pad is
officially headed to the Wreckers the
sky is falling and there isn't enough
chocolate in the world I left work early
because I was exhausted but trying not
to cry when I got home I stuck into my
room crawled into my bed and tried to
keep it together when my husband found
me he asked did you have a good day no
why the world is falling apart and then
I told him everything wiping Tears while
he lay beside me and when I finished he
called in the children and they piled on
me with hugs and giggles and I
remembered that the sun rises every
day so so yeah I had a lot of feelings
and wherever you stand politically
that's that's fine that's not what this
is about um this is about my state of
mind when I was writing exploring who
this character was of then Xavier
montgomry Noah and as I read that little
excerpt I shared before um a failed
politician political career became
burdis some and perilous like I was
obviously projecting my hopes onto the
current political situation in the world
and now I I don't like that like I that
is not who that character has become as
I worked through my feelings of the
political state of the world and remov
those from my expression of creative
fiction this character became so much
more and developed a great um a great
heart really he's someone that I really
love I think he has a Gentle Spirit when
I made the choice to change him from
Xavier to reiv it was
partly I knew I needed diversity in this
book and I wanted to create a really
compelling telling backstory for him so
I decided he was going to be born in
India I wanted him to have an Eastern
mother and a western father for some
instant
tension really I wanted I wanted
everything that wasn't Donald Trump to
be to be this character so as I work
through this manuscript I am going to
have to attack any of those moments
where I'm painting him this poor man in
a trump like
frame because that's not fair and I I
just think it's really interesting to
see how the real world influences the
story that I'm telling and what's really
really strange is that in that blog post
I mentioned the pat going to the recer
so the Pat was our our Volkswagen
station wagon we loved that car it's
like our favorite car
and we had to get rid of it it was put
to rest so now 7 years later our little
Chevy Sonic was just taken away on the
back of a tow truck the other day
earlier this week because the battery
exploded I don't know what's happening
there but uh the world Works in cycles
and I think there's a lesson I'm
supposed to learn that I'm not quite
grasping yet but I will get there in a
very roundabout way I think it's fair to
say that this book began because I
needed to build a new world which is a
complicated way of saying maybe this
book is Donald Trump's fault he stands
for a world I don't want to be part of
so this has become my commentary on how
to build a world without people like him
thanks but no thanks Donald
Trump my story doesn't need
you reie is a much better character than
Xavier ever was and I'm pleased that I
have allowed that
Evolution and no matter what
happens in the future of American
politics I'm really going to try to not
let that
influence the story that comes out of me
I'm just going to finish up with an
excerpt from a scene of the reimagined
reive this is him as a child you get a
little sense of his background here um
this is me working through who is this
character
and what is he going to do with his
life rajie sat cross-legged on the
carpet in front of the television with a
bandana tied around his mouth and nose
an episode of malg goody days played
quietly on the screen but he wasn't
paying attention in the other room he
could hear his mother coughing and
crying she coughed and cried and ever so
often he heard her call out the name of
Shiva he leaned forward and turned the
volume knob further to the right to try
and drown her out but it didn't help he
wasn't allowed to go outside he couldn't
escape they lived in a small village
outside of Bal but everyone in their
neighborhood was staying inside afraid
their air was just as poison as that in
the city his father was already dead
masked men in White had carried him out
on a stiff board the day before to burn
him along with all the others one of the
men had handed reiva card with a phone
number on it in case he needed their
services again nodding towards the
bedroom where his father's body had
rested beside his sick
mother fresh out of college his American
father had been snatched up by the Union
Carbide Corporation in 72 and relocated
as a promising engineer to Union Carbide
India limited where he met ri's mother a
lifetime local of Bal when rajie was
born very soon after the couple
committed to raising him bilingual some
of his earliest memories were staring
deep into his father's blue eyes and
repeating American words like Diaper
Dude and shoot the
breeze there had been blood around his
father's eyes when they removed his body
the blue forever hidden behind stiff
Lids the color of a bruise he had been
working inside the factory on the day of
the gas leak he got the worst of it his
mother had been shopping for the
groceries at the market down wind from
UIL normally she wouldn't go into the
city to get what they needed but the
family car was in the shop so she had
doubled on her husband's motorbike and
planned to hire a taxi to bring her back
home the city can offer a better price
than almost anything than our little
village Reeve she had said when she left
that morning she was in the protest
aisle when people started vomiting
around her that was 4 days ago she
wasn't getting
When I say God I mean it was a divine force that opened my eyes and told me what needed to be done. I don't care what you call this force. God (Big G), god (little G), Allah, Creator, Santa Claus. We are all speaking of the same thing. We are all speaking about love. When I created Eden it was not to give naked people a place to prance. The dance of Eden is the pure intention of that original creation. To take what we are given and to nurture it perfectly. Every society has the capacity for this Utopia and yet every society to date has wasted this opportunity for equality. Yes, God promised to never again destroy the world with a flood, but he didn't promise to never again destroy the world by other means. We have invited such wrath. We are the whole reason for this ending. We have chosen this, and while this does sound like the verdict of a vindictive judge it is actually the disciplinary hand of a loving parent. If you abuse the toy the toy is taken from you. He who makes his bed must then lie in it.
Chin up, Bright Eyes. We'll chat again next week.
Racing Home is a Chicken House Press production; theme music by Alex Grohl and Alanna Rusnak
If you would like to support my writing journey with a small financial donation you may do so by visiting bio.site/alannarusnak That link is available in the show notes. You can make a donation of any size of your choosing and it will go towards funding the production of this book. Writing takes a lot of time, a lot of energy, it requires a lot of coffee and chocolate. So if you want to help out that's one way you can do it. Donations over $50 will be automatically signed up to receive a signed copy of When the Trees All Burned at least one week before official launch.
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